Ame (amejisuto) wrote in griefcounseling,
Ame
amejisuto
griefcounseling

Grief Counseling - 46/? - R

Header.




It was the blank looks that Spike hated the most. They were worse than the Deadly Stare of Doom.

“Well,” Spike said. “Say something, then. Go on, get on your high horse.”

“You’re lying,” Angel replied after a pause that Spike was certain was completely deliberate and done to make him sweat.

Not that Spike had any intention of sweating. He wasn’t worried.

Not at all.

Spike slowly grinned and moved forward. “There. Is. No. Chip.”

“You’re lying,” Angel said again.

“You wish. Bring one of your groupies down here and I’ll show you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“So, you do believe me?” Spike asked. “Make your mind up, then.” He knew he was pushing it, but he didn’t really care. Angel had no right to dictate and it was time to show him that. “The chip is out. It was an accident, but it’s out. Why would I lie?”

“Why do you ever do anything, Spike? For yourself. To get what you want. You’ve never been any different.”

“Oh, right, because you know me so well.”

“I know you well enough.”

Angel was too still, too quiet, too damn calm and it was driving Spike completely crackers. “You don’t know me at all, Angel! Where have you been?”

“What?”

“Where have you been?” Spike repeated. “Not anywhere near me, that’s for sure. How the hell do you think you still know me?”

“Because people don’t change.”

“You changed!”

Angel heaved a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I have a soul,” he said, in a way that sounded as though he’d said it a thousand times before.

“So fucking what? Ian Brady had a soul but he still thought the Yorkshire Moors and screaming kiddies were better than sliced bread!”

“I’m not a monster. I changed.”

“You’re a contrary bastard, aren’t you?”

“You’re not listening,” Angel said. “The soul changed everything. I’m not a killer…”

“Yes, you are. So am I. Come on, man. We’re vampires! We revel in blood and all that bollocks! It’s in our nature.”

“You’re not making a good case for yourself, Spike.”

“The point is: the soul, the chip, they’re just leashes. And the thing is, my leash stopped me completely. I wonder how many times you slipped yours.”

“You’re over the line!”

Ah, finally, a reaction. “And you’re not?” Spike asked. “You’ve got more front than Brighton! The chip stopped me completely; it gave me time to find another part of myself, a part that wasn’t the demon. Looks to me like you’re still struggling with yours.”

Spike kept going. Offence was definitely the best type of defence. “Is that why you sit in the dark, Angel? Because you can’t trust yourself? Well, I can trust myself. I don’t need to hide myself away. I know I wouldn’t hurt them.”

“Really?” Angel asked. One corner of his mouth rose in an amused smile. “Then why did you bite Xander?”

“Oh, well, bugger me. You got eyes in the back of your head, you old sod?”

“No. Just a lucky guess.”

Whoops. Caught. “Right. So, I bit him. Then I guess you do believe me.”

“I guess I do.”

Angel circled him and suddenly Spike felt like prey.

“You need to move on, Spike. I won’t let you hurt Buffy’s friends.”

“I’m not going to hurt them, you daft git. What happened with Xander was a passion thing: a love bite. The demon is still there; I won’t deny that. But I’ve got it under control.”

“I don’t believe you.” Angel turned to leave.

“That’s your answer to everything, isn’t it? Go on, just walk away. It’s what you’re best at.”

Angel stopped. “What does that mean?” he asked.

“Walked away from Buffy, didn’t you? You know, the Hellmouth is pretty active. That’s a lot for one Slayer to handle. I reckon she could have used a hand.”

“What happened between me and Buffy is my business-”

“Yeah, and what happens between Xander and me is my business, you great big clot!”

“It’s different!” Angel insisted. His temper was beginning to slip.

“It isn’t!” Spike temper had disintegrated some time ago.

“It is!”

“It isn’t!

“It is!”

“It bloody isn’t! Look, Angel, I’m gonna say this once then I’m gonna walk away from you before I strangle you: I love Xander and Dawn. They are my family. I’m not giving them up. I’m on the good side now. Maybe it’s time you decided which side you’re on.” And with one last scathing look, Spike pushed past Angel, bumping his shoulder. He calmly walked back up the stairs and gave himself a mental pat on the back. Xander would be proud.

Spike got halfway across the lobby before he felt Angel’s ominous presence yet again. “What?” he asked, snappishly and without stopping or turning around.

“This isn’t finished!” Angel yelled.

“Looks like it is to me.” Spike looked up at Fred, who was lurking over the banister and looking as though she was unsure if she should be there or not. “Morning, luv,” he said as he jogged up the first few stairs. He had trouble walking up the next lot due to the great big lump of vampire that was suddenly blocking his way.

“I said this isn’t finished.”

“What is it with you?” Spike asked. “You can’t speak to me properly, can you? So bloody rude.”

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.”

“I’m being serious, Angel. I’m not the same person. If you’d bothered to find out anything about me then you’d know that. You’d know that I’d die to protect my family. I’d die to protect my friends. Fuck, I’d even die to protect your sorry arse.”

“Spike-”

“Glory nearly killed me. Did you know that? Did you bother to find out what I went through to protect Dawn? No, you didn’t. So I’m just saying: I think I deserve a little bit of respect.”

Angel moved aside and let him go. He waited until Spike was halfway up the stairs before he spoke again. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

It seemed like a genuine question and, yet again, Spike felt sympathy for Angel. Angel was a wanker, no doubt about that, but, in a weird sort of way, his heart was in the right place. He’d walked away from Buffy because he had his head up his arse, but he’d also walked away because he thought it was best for her. And when she died he’d walked away again because he needed time and space to think, to grieve and to accept. Angel thought he deserved to be alone.

There were a lot of people in the world who needed saving from the dark. Maybe Angel was one of them.

Spike turned to face him. “Come to Sunnydale. Come and see.”

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Tara, luv?

I think I just did something really stupid.

Spike
xxx

**

FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Oh, gods.

Was it the date? Did it not go well?

~hugs~

T

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


The date went great. Better than great. Put it this way: he’s a bloody good kisser.

It’s going to be the world’s shortest relationship when he finds out what I did, though.

How are you, anyway?

Spike
xxx

**

FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


That’s fantastic! You’ll have to tell me all the gory details sometime. I want to know everything. ~g~

But first, tell me what you did.

Willow’s making good progress. I’m excited.

Tell meeeeeeeee!

~hugs~

T

**


FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Gory details? Perv. ;o)

I invited Angel to come to Sunnydale. It was the only way I could think of to make him believe that I’m genuine. Xan doesn’t know yet. Think he’ll let me live?

Oh, and Angel said yes.

I’m glad about Willow, for your sake. Be careful, though, ducks. It’s early days. Still, it’s good news. Nice one.

Spike
xxx


FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Let you live? I think you’re gonna be dead meat when he finds out.

Does Angel know about you and Xander?

~hugs~

T

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Bollocks.

Yeah, he caught us kissing last night. And he’s not stupid; he knows we had sex. And now he’s not going to leave us alone. So I reckon I’ve got two options:

1. Stake Angel,

2. Get Angel to Sunnydale and let him see that I’m not a danger to Dawn or Xander.


Spike
xxx


FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


You had sex?!?!?!

~hugs~

T

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Well, yeah, sort of.

Bugger. Probably shouldn’t have told you that. Oh, well, if I’m gonna go down in flames I might as well make it worth it.

Shit.

So, any advice? ~wibble~

Spike
xxx

**

FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.



Xander is going to be really mad. Hide any matches and/or lighters.

~hugs~

T

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.



Lot of bloody use you are. LOL! <------- Hysterical laughter

Spike
xxx

**

FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Sorry, sweetie. All I can suggest is that you tell Xander as soon as possible. He’ll understand if you explain it to him properly. He won’t like it, but I bet he’ll be cool once he’s thought about it. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. Don’t worry too much, okay? Just tell him what you did and why. Oh, and give him smoochies first. That might help.

So, lots happening, huh? Anything else I don’t know about?

~hugs~

T

**

FROM: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
TO: wispywiccan@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Whoops.


Thanks, luv. I’ll do that. You’re a star. *kiss*

Hmm, any gossip. Let me think. Hmmm…

Oh, yeah. Don’t tell anyone, especially the old fart, but Dawn is a Slayer.

Spike
xxx

**

FROM: wispywiccan@gmail.com
TO: graveyard_disturbance@crystal_lake.net
SUBJECT: Whoops.


:oO OMG!! How did that happen?!?!?

Tell meeeeeeeeeee!!

~hugs~

T

*****




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